(An original poem by me.)– “Sorry … they one.”

When i was in a very dark place i wrote this. Sort of like my suicide letter.
——
Her eyes were blood shot red.
So were her wrists.
She fell to the ground.
She pleaded for help.
Her smile faded.
Her life, she waited.
She was tired of fighting.
Tired of lying and acting like she was fine.
She gave up on herself including her life.
She wrote a letter saying “goodbye.
I hope you had fun ruining my life.”
It was sent to noone…
Except for the voices in her head.
They screamed at her saying, “die!”
She whispered…
“Already did.”

Posted from WordPress for Android

Fetish for heart break.

So I have no idea what’s wrong with me. I date a boy. A day later I’m “bored”. It’s like they dont make an effort to be with me. That! And when I date somebody I feel like people are judging me. It feels like we shouldn’t be together.
Okay it starts like this. I’m with talking to this guy. He asked me out and I said,”what the heck! Okay.” So that same night, I’m getting ready for bed. I’m about to say goodnight when I realize, I don’t want to be with this person. So I just stopped texting him. I get to school and tell my friends. They came up with the conclusion that I am a “player.”
Well I am not. I actually, sort of, just a little, maybe like to play around with them. Then I hate when they do it back to me.
Well today, I was talking to my other friend and we found out that, I crave for the feeling of getting my heart broken.
Yes, you read it right. I enjoy getting my HEART BROKEN.  It’s weird huh? So my friends call it a fetish.

They’ve never met a person like me. Or known a person like me. Yes i know. I am a strange person.

Posted from WordPress for Android

“Bipolar” photo series

10 reasons why the “10 reasons to ban handheld devices” article is wrong, stupid

No, Strike That

There is a horrible article making the rounds right now from HuffPost written by the new self-appointed leader of the “Save the Children” crusade, Cris Rowan.And this time, she’s after our iPhones! Get the pitchforks Cleetus, we’re gonna have an angry mob!

I feel horrible for even doing this, because rule number 1 of the Internet is “Don’t Feed the Trolls”. Still,if you want to see what bad science looks like when it’s covered in citations you should go read this article (nostrikethat, 2014).

The short version (although it’s hard to summarize a listicle) is that “technology” is destroying the brains of our children and OH GOD WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN? Technology is defined as “cell phones, internet, iPads, TV”(The stupid article, 2014), which is good because I would hate to have to rip out my toilets. Lucky for the Nostrikethat household, Poop Vanishing Technology is exempt!

So…

View original post 2,546 more words

Inner Sanctum

Line Of The Week

“I love and hate how well you know me.“

View original post

Waiting

breaking down

So i haven’t posted in a while. And to be honest, i missed it. I just haven’t had the motivation to do anything.
I mean i get enough sleep. I eat healthy. I just feel so exhausted and unmotivated. I have no idea. I mean everybody around me had begun to notice. I wasn’t dressing up, i wasn’t sarcastic, i wasn’t laughing and i wasn’t writing! I mean everybody knows me as a very happy, creative and very sarcastic person. But i wasn’t any of that. I was quiet, scared, and i was in the background of everything. I hated everything and everybody around me.
But my dad got me help. Well i got myself help. My dad just signed the papers since you kno, i’m underage.
I told Yvette-my therapist- that i was breaking down almost everyday for the past two weeks. She had asked me why and all i could say was that i’m alone. I mean i’m not alone physically but i’m alone mentally.
They say that you’re alone with your thoughts but when those thoughts start to become too much to handle, you have to break apart. And it’s scary sometimes. It’s scary for yourself and for others around you.
I’m slowly trying to figure myself out but isn’t everybody?

Sick and fed up!

For the last 2, weeks i have been sick with the normal cold, the flu and now the pink eye. I haven’t straightened my hair, put decent clothes on or have been out with my friends in 2 weeks. My throat hurts, my cough is getting worse and i’m just completely messed up! I am just so fed up with being sick.
Somebody hit me in the head with a brick please?

Finally !

So recently, I have just turned sixteen. I have been dreaming of that day since I was 12 years old. I had a whole day planned out. I would wake up and my dad would make me a birthday breakfast. Then I would get all dolled up and get dropped off at school. My friends would all sing me happy birthday and I would recieve hugs and gifts throughout the whole day. Then I would go home, and get ready for my big Sweet Sixteen party.
Of course, that’s not how it happened. I did however get the breakfast. I didnt get dolled up because I walked to school. Then it was raining and muddy so I had to get dressed at school. I took my normal routine and my normal time getting dressed. My hair was not cooperating, so I just let it flow down my back.
When my assistant principal found out it was birthday, he literally screamed Happy Birthday! So I hid behind my brother. On my birthday, I had to take a World History test and also a Trigonometry test. I think I failed my Trig. test though.
When I got home, I was expecting just a regular day, since you know, my day started out bad. But I was proved wrong. I got $25 dollars, a bbq and i got cookies and cake. Then my grandma got me a garnet(my birthstone) ring and matching braclet.
I guess overall, this birthday was pretty amazing!

i miss her.

It’s almost 3 years that my aunt is going to be gone. Her anniversary is Monday, January 6 and the days are getting sadder and sadder. The thing that hurts even more is that she died 4 days before my birthday.
I said goodbye to her while I was eating breakfast. She walked out thinking she was going to return home later on. She was hit by a car, in front of my house and everyday i look outside and the memory of seeing the ambulances, flash around in my head.
i buried her the day of my birthday. My heart banged against my chest every. Single. Damn time., i heard people tell me, ‘i’m sorry for your loss sweetie but happy birthday.’
I smirked at that very thought. Yes, thanks for that comment.
Everybody’s hurting now but over time, i guess the cuts and bruises on our hearts will heal.
The pain is still here.
The memories always stay,
It doesn’t matter when you left,
In our hearts, you’ll always stay.
This isn’t hello,
this isn’t goodbye.
i’ll see you soon,
But for now i’ll wipe my eyes.